Its okay to be you

Why the perfect body is a load of bull
From the Real World

How many times do you find yourself scrolling through social media and comparing yourself to others? If the answer is anywhere between always and maybe a few times then this blog is probably meant for you. Since the beginning of time, we have created a predestined idea of how we are supposed to look and who we are supposed to be. This has become worse now that we have ample information at the reach of our fingertips. As social media has grown in popularity we find ourselves aimlessly scrolling through the media and creating mindless expectations of how what is a successful post. Many times as we scroll we find ourselves comparing lifestyles and body image with each other. Now, why is this you may ask? Well, I did a research experiment and asked a few girls how their body image has been affected by social media and why.
The Research

In this study, I found interesting qualitative data by asking three different women within the same age range (18-25) specific questions on social media and body image. A few of the questions asked consisted of the following; how active they were on social media, what type of content they followed, if they had disliked or been disappointed by the content they follow, and if they have ever wanted to change something about their appearance because of what they saw. 3/3 of girls concluded that they have or did change something about themselves because of what they saw on social media and 2/3 had to delete social media because their mental health and body image became so bad. Now although this was a small study within my community I found that most women struggled with the same negative concept of social media; this was not looking or being good enough.
Why the amount of time on social media matters
It was shown that spending more time on social media was associated with greater body image concerns in females and that appearance comparisons in general, frequency of comparisons to peers (close friends and distant peers), and direction of comparisons to distant peers and celebrities accounted for this relationship. (Fardouly & Vartanian, 2014). This reveals that the more frequent use of social media the worse women's ideas on body image got. This was also seen in my qualitative study because the one girl who used social media for 10+ hours a day had a worse reaction to body image than the girls who used it less. Many times as we scroll through social media we don't realize all the negative factors we subconsciously take in and when you spend hours doing it you can find yourself getting stuck in an endless loop of it.
The Mental and Physical effects of social media
Have there ever been times you are scrolling through social media to see a peer, influencer, or even family member and compare yourself to them? If the answer is yes then how many times do you get off of that social media app to then obsess over the differences between you and them? Depending on your answer you could be experiencing several mental/ physical effects of body image. For some, there is the physical effect of having an eating disorder because they find themselves too big or too small. This is found more often than people know and many times it gets pushed under the table. When it comes to social media, constantly seeing the "ideal body" can be a trigger for some, and in the cases of internalized beauty standards women put themselves to the test to look like their ideal selves. Eating disorders are characterized by dietary restriction, obsessive thoughts about food and body, compensatory exercise, and psychological distress (Marks, Foe & Collett, 2020). This also goes hand in hand with the mental effects of social media. Having depressing or negative feelings after you find yourself comparing can put a big strain on your health. One of the biggest mental factors is anxiety/stress towards social media and this can be because there is a fear of missing out or a fear of not being/ looking good enough. Having the constant worry about why you don't look like them or why isn't the new diet working enough can put a major negative impact on the body. (Bashir & Bhat, 2017). In my study, it was found that all 3 girls had stress about the idea of the body that had to uphold and anxiety about keeping up with social media beauty standards. Fearing they would be missing out on something new if they stepped away from social media they found themselves in a tough position of trying to catch up and untimely feeling as though they failed in the fast-paced beauty industry.

So really why doesn't the perfect body exist?
1. Most of the time people are using Photo editing
Although the times are changing many people are still caught in the box of what the ideal body type is. When this comes to social media we are quick to see the images they want us to see and not the work that goes into creating the perfect image. For many, this is editing photos to look better than they are. This could be using filters or physically going in to change sizing or get rid of anything they find to be a "flaw". It was shown that once someone found out an influencer was editing their social media photos the less likely women were to compare themselves. (Jung,Barron, Lee & Sawmi, 2022)
Self-presentation is huge in today's world and with higher expectations in industries such as fashion, it can be hard to keep up an ideal image. So the next time you look at an image and want to compare remember it is more than likely not the raw original image.
2. Sometimes the event doesn't actually happen or wasn't as good as it was shown.
How many times have you seen on TikTok people exposing influencer's pictures with a made-up background or a set-up photo op? This, unfortunately, happens a lot more than we think and now with the computer skills people have, it's hard to believe what is real and what's not. Due to this creators can make an event seem better than it was just a little editing, lighting, and/or playing with angels. This can also go for beauty standards because like we talked about above there are so many different makeups, apps, and filters that can change someone. Take this into consideration because what you see is not always what you get.
3. You don't know whats going on in their actual life
This one is for all the ladies that follow a fitness guru or social media lifestyle, coach. Many times we see and follow the content these influencers post. Sometimes they have a day-by-day meal plan they suggest you follow or workouts to help get you into shape. Nonetheless, you do all the meal prep and workout routines but to your dismay, you don't look anything like them. Now the first reason this may be is well everyone has different body structures and types. What you are following may not be right for your body type and could be causing more harm than help. Two you don't know what's going on in their life because Maybe they are working out four times a day or maybe they aren't working out at all. Social media gives us a little trailer into people's lives but never the full story and the more you compare the less information you have. Sometimes the idolization of a person is because we lack the real reality. We do not know what is going on in their lives, how they wake up if they get the amount of sleep they suggest, or how much stress is going on in their world. In these moments it's best to not compare realities because as you don't know theirs they don't know yours. So practice the art of your life and take their information with a grain of salt to better shape yours into the perfect lifestyle and body you want for yourself!

My Personal Story
In 2017 I decided I wanted to be a fashion model and I know what you are thinking "as if" but for real, I graduated high school early and set out on my dream. I studied under an agency in Houston known as Neal Hamil and in 2018 I decided why not go big and move to the best place to be; The big apple. So, in August of 2018, I moved to NYC to live my dreams and soon I was working as a runway model in New York Fashion Week, searching for the perfect agency and doing side photoshoots to add a little spice to my portfolio. Well as I walked from the agency after agency I found myself getting told the same things. "Your hips are too big", "You aren't tall enough", "You don't look American enough" and the worst one yet "You aren't skinny enough." Now here's a little background of myself. I am a 5'9, blue-eyed, Russian-origin, and made-of-bones woman. When I moved to NYC I weighed 125 pounds which is a healthy weight for someone of my height and stature but when I left I weighed below 115 and it fluctuated as low as 110. You probably are thinking wow you lost a lot of weight and you are right. Due to this, I had to take a mental season and I found myself obsessing over my Instagram during this time. Scrolling through famous models left and right. Finding the best opportunities for me to lose more weight and getting to a point I couldn't even look at my previous posts because I thought I looked too big.

Now that it has been two years since I stopped working in the fashion industry I was hoping that part of me would go away but it hasn't. If anything I find myself still struggling with the idea of what is a perfect body and find myself comparing myself to others on social media. Sometimes I still find myself looking at my social media and thinking I'm too big.. or I don't look like a model in this photo even though I am no longer one. I have found the pressure I have put on myself even after being out of the industry is much worse than when I was in it. Now it's almost as if everyone is doing something cooler than me or looking better than how I used to. I look at all these celebrities and ask myself why can't I be that or why didn't I; When I should have been asking why are you not happy with where you are at?
Now as I look back I can see that I started doing this in high school I didn't realize I was already struggling with social media identity until I stepped foot into the real world. For many people, it is not something they realize to be an unhealthy habit but in the end, self-criticizing can only cause more hurt, and being able to understand why we do is the first start. As I have learned through research and therapy there are ways to help these thoughts of mine and I want to share those ways with you in the next section below. The struggle of body image through media is something unfortunately many women and men both go through but seeing there is a community out there that goes through exactly how you feel and knowing you aren't alone is the best way into changing the status quo.

A note from the writer
6 Ways to help you feel like the boss you are

“Body positivity is as simple as making the choice to love yourself despite your shortcomings—to embrace your whole self and not let others dictate how you feel about your body.” — Body Positivity
Ways to Connect
Thebodypositivity.org
Seekher.org
Your local Social media/ Community







